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If you keep finding yourself apologising to someone even though you were the one who got hurt, that's not a quirk of your personality. It's one of the most effective patterns of emotional abuse there is, and it's designed to be hard to spot. It works by flipping the roles. You come to someone with something that genuinely hurt you, and somehow, within minutes, they've become the one who needs comforting. Sometimes it looks obvious, they get defensive or turn it back on you. But the more dangerou
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